Sunday, March 22, 2009

Review in Two: How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith

Being a teenager is hard; especially when the most abundant forms of employment - babysitting and camp counseling - are one-way tickets to the Terrorverse. To survive the horror movie you've unwittingly walked into, use this detailed guide with tips on navigating standard plot devices, when it's okay to check on that noise you heard upstairs (duh, never!) and how to outwit various slashers and make it to the final credits alive.

How To Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills
by Seth Grahame-Smith
Quirk Books, 2007

Hi. lar. ious. I picked up How to Survive a Horror Movie because it was recommended by several other young adult librarians, and I couldn't put it down. From page one the author has you laughing out loud at the contrived, yet no less frightening, plot lines and characters that are standard in horror movies. Each chapter focuses on a different type of horror movie genres and includes subsections like "What to Do if You Did Something Last Summer" and "How to Defeat a Killer Doll." The book does assume basic knowledge/viewership of horror classics, and includes a helpful appendix of "Additional Study Materials" (read: list of awesome, must-see horror movies from the various genres) to get you started.

Sample text:

"Your goal - your only goal - is to reach the nearest car or truck, get inside, and blow town as fast as inhumanly possible. If you reach an unoccupied vehicle first, get in (don't bother smashing the window - they left the car unlocked), lock the doors and pull down the driver's-side sun visor. The keys will simply drop into your lap. When you try to start the engine, it'll turn over again and again, but don't worry - it'll kick in as soon as the attacker(s) reaches the car and pounds on the windows." (p. 30-31)


  1. Ha! What a brilliant idea for a book. I love "What to Do if You Did Something Last Summer" - this sounds great.

  2. Somewhere, Jamie Kennedy is smiling (and wishing that he got royalties).